You had slogged hard all your life, giving up smallest of the pleasures with a desire for a better tomorrow, when you can have all the fun.
Your penance pays off, and the tomorrow becomes today.
So, now you want to lose yourself and have some fun.
But wait! You have now become a role model. Good enough to be emulated by your brothers and cousins.
All they can see is how much fun you are having and not what went in the process, much much before, when they were too young to understand all that.
They are lost in the sugar coated dreams that you live in front of them and think, it will be theirs, all too easy! Suddenly, it all falls apart for them and they are brought back to the bitter, dark reality called life.
And you feel guilty.
Is it wrong that you feel you should protect your siblings from the harsh struggle that you had to undergo? Or should you just allow them to fall and pick up the pieces and figure it out for themselves?