Sunday, 29 June 2008

oorath therinjikitten ulagam purinjikitten kanmani en kanmani
njaanam porandhiruchchu naalum purinjiduchchu kanmani en kanmani
pachchak kozhandhaiyinnu paalootti valarththen
paalak kudichipputtu paambaagak koththudhadi kanmani en kanmani


I have understood this place, I have understood this world.
Knowledge has been gained, realization has dawned.
I had given milk to this hungry child
Now it has turned into a snake and is biting me back.
I have understood this place, I have understood this world.

Saturday, 21 June 2008

L(unch) and T(ea) days - Part 2 - Conference Room

I think this blog has seen too much of blue of late. Let’s change the mood with some good ol’ nostalgia.

We walk across huge metal monsters called heat exchangers and reach the North Block, which housed the Heavy Engineering Division. Quite unlikely division for atleast Amit and me. Both of us together weighed less than a quintal I think. Yeah, for that I would have had to remove my half-a-ton-wallet which I was famous for in college. I think people seriously thought I had ‘some’ problem when they saw the huge wallet protruding from my pant. For your information, I used to somehow squeeze the not so small wallet in the front pocket of my unwashed-for-two-months-jeans.

As we enter the building, Abhi is still convincing Amit that we did not have to send any excel sheet for that week. So, here is Mr. Datta, who was kind of like our assistant guide. But, I am still unable to get over the fact that for a whole year, I repeat, for a whole year, we did not finish a single task assigned by him.

What an achievement! What a bunch of shirkers! What a great manager!

‘Good Morning guys, did you work on the Tube sheet?’
‘It was the flange design I had asked to write a macro for. Did you guys do that?’
‘Oh! That one? We sent it last week itself. Abhi, you mailed it na?’
‘Yes sir. I think there is a problem with L&T firewall. It seems to be not receiving our emails’ (clap clap clap)
‘Hmmm…Ok. Send it to my personal id. I will take care of it.’ (I think he was secretly plotting to either kill us or send us to an uninhabited island. Poor guy.)

Now we move on to our main guide who is busy ,as usual. He was as absent minded as a scientist. He had just given us access from the main gate, but on seeing us he would give a surprised look and say

‘Oh! Today is Friday? When did you guys come? Can you please wait in the conference room? I will be there in a while.’

The conference room was a small room with a table and eight chairs. It also housed a zillion books on Heat and Mass transfer, German and British Standards and lots of other mechie techie stuff which only Amit had an idea about. For us, three mechanical engineers, they were books in Hebrew. Infact I think Abhi would know more about Hebrew than mechanical engineering. We can talk about that later.

This conference room was our ‘adda’ every Friday. This is where we discussed about everything from Mallika Sherawat to Manmohan Singh, from Nanotechnology to Porn, from Marathi literature to Tamil songs, from crushes to mathematical puzzles, from economics to ‘geometry’ ;-) Everything. This was our street. We played by our rules.

Amit: ‘Abhi, I had told you that we had to submit something for today.’
Me: ‘We had nothing to submit for today. This was supposed to be submitted a month back. I thought he would have forgotten about it. Elephant memory. Saala.’
Santo: (laughs) ‘Kal Sehwag ne kya catch drop kiya yaar’
Abhi: ‘Its ok we can do it this week. I got my call letter from Wipro. I am going to have a medical test sometime this week.’
Me: ‘Tujhke dekhke I feel you will pass all tests except the fertility test.’

Amit starts reading from one of the books from the shelf. It was about Thermal resistance or something, I don’t know what. More importantly, I don’t care. Me and Abhi are more interested in discussing about one of our batchmates love life.

‘Hey, you know what, R gave a huge bouquet to M. It was as big as her. She was floored it seems.’
‘Hmm..some people have all the money dude. I don’t think I can even buy a cutting-chai to my girl friend, if ever I get one. Sigh.’
‘Don’t worry about not having a girl friend dude. Just believe in one theory. Hot girls get ch**tiya boyfriends and handsome guys get ordinary girlfriends. We are no-way near handsome, so someone else should worry not us.

Just as we are discussing one of the most important theories in life after Newton’s law of gravity, that Venky walks in. There is a hushed silence. Its like a mortuary out there.

(to be continued)

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

Friday, 20 June 2008

A truth from Aamir...

Kaun kehta hai aadmi apni kismat khud likhta hai?
Sab bakwaas hai...

How true!!!

You never realize this until destiny hits you on your face and you are absolutely helpless with its sheer magnitude and turbulence.

I have.

Friday, 13 June 2008

Spam -a - lot

I was just checking my spam mail box. Boy! What do people think about me?
Got so many different view points, that I am confused as to what to do now.

Somebody wants to sell me fake degrees. Hmm..would help in my job search. Help me get a very stable job. In jail.

Somebody wants to sell me Viagra. Well, on further investigation, 264 people want to sell me Viagra,

Some Brando thinks I am a woman!!!! She is giving me tips on female masturbation. Never knew my name sounded feminine. Krithika? God, no.

One guy wants to pay cash for minor injuries. Dude, I hardly get out of home. Probably that's why he wants to pay me cash and encourage me to get out of this bed and go out and get injured. Po da.

Kathy (Ah, now I know why I was mistook for being a girl. Karthik or Kathy or Katie) thinks I look really stupid. :(
I know I have a bad haircut, have not shaved for a week, have ugly teeth, but still she was rude. This is not a way to tell people on the face.Baahhhhh!!!!

Joe thinks somebody loves me. Ok, I assume Joe is a guy. So he thinks I am Kathy as well. Oh my god! Get me out of here.
Or, is he gay? I was once felt in a late night bus in London and I know how freaked out I was. Stay away from me you idiot. 'Tumhare baap aur bhai nahi hai kya?' :P

Maria, is giving me tips to act longer in bed. I already act very long in bed. I meant I sleep for 12 hours a day on my bed. :P

Somebody save me please.

Some useless statistics..

These statistics pertain to the last 5 days.

1 - Meal(s) I have in a day
6 - People I talked to, personally
47 - People I talked to, on phone
166 - Emails sent
173 - Emails received (excluding mails which talk about the size of my genitals)
3 - Times I ventured out of my house
12 - Movies seen
28 - Episodes of FRIENDS watched
13 - Cups of tea I drank

bah! I have too much time with me!!!


Yippee! I am going to Brussels and Amsterdam tonight. Hopefully, the weekend will take me 'high'er and get me out of this mental shit I am in right now. I really need some alcohol. Sometimes, it does act like 'Kiwi Dranex', clearing the mess in our system.

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Gautam Buddha says...

‘Accept the pain’

He has been saying that to me for the last 4 fucking months!!!

Enough, okay!

I deserve better.

Or maybe not, maybe I deserve worse.

Is this the best you have got?

Here I am in front of you. Naked.
Naked with no shame, no self respect, no pretensions, no guilt, no love, no pride, nothing.

Just pure me. With a heart for a fight.

Give it to me, I am ready.

One more drop in the ocean doesn't make any difference.

Brother is a friend given by God!

Dear kutti bro Arjun,

Hopefully everything is fine in Mumbai. I had heard that its raining quite a bit there, so hopefully you have time to have a nice chai and batata wada in our balcony. If not, please do that for my sake.

They say you will understand the person’s importance only in his absence. How true! I am just miserable out here. I understood how lucky I was, that you were here during those terrible times. Wonder how I could have handled them myself without your stupid jokes and analogies to tamil movies. When I returned home from the airport after sending you off, I could sense the emptiness in me as well in the house. It was scarily silent. I just wanted to get away from there. I rang up 5-6 of my friends and went to their place since I could not stand the loneliness. I missed you lots!

Though mostly you put up a mature front, you showed you were actually a kid when you received your results. That was the moment when I trembled and realised how much you had changed about yourself just to make me comfortable. I don’t know how to thank you for that da. I know you would say I can thank you by getting you an Ipod Touch. 

Hopefully, everything will be alright and we could play Wii Tennis and watch Vivek comedy and eat Pani puri and fight over the remote control.

Miss you kutti paiyya,

Sunday, 8 June 2008

The Square Root of 3

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

(Source: Harold and Kumar)